


My Reputation's All a Lie

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Gossip, Protectiveness, Rumors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 23:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9572699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: No one actually knew how the rumors had started, least of all Poe himself.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the 'undeserved reputation' square on my h/c bingo card from last round. Thanks to clea2011 and deinonychus_1 for beta and reassurance that this wasn't terrible! It took me so long to write I sort of lost the ability to judge, lol. Title from Fall Out Boy.

No one actually knew how the rumors had started, least of all Poe himself.

It wasn’t like there hadn’t been jokes. There had been _tons_ of jokes, generally revolving around themes of Poe being the face of the Resistance and Poe being the guy all the recruits wanted to serve under. Emphasis on ‘under’.

Haha, funny, right? Poe had a sense of humor. He didn’t mind. It was all in good fun.

But that was before.

The rumors weren’t so good-natured.

Poe liked to think the best of people. He felt he was fairly easy to get along with and he liked to be friendly. He supposed expecting everyone to like him was rather naïve, though, and he supposed it was inevitable that he would end up fighting alongside a sleemo or two.

He didn’t know why the rumors started. But they did.

-

The first time Poe became aware of anything weird was when he was walking through the hangar bay and came across Snap reprimanding one of the new recruits, a young Devaronian kid named Cal. Snap looked angry, which was unusual. It took a lot to get Snap angry, outside the First Order, anyway.

Cal was quaking. “It was only a joke.”

“Some jokes don’t deserve to be repeated.”

“What’s going on here?” Poe asked, moving towards them.

The poor kid actually flinched but Snap said, “We’re all good, Commander. Just a misunderstanding. Won’t happen again. Right?”

Cal shook his head rapidly. “Yes, sir, I mean, no, sir, absolutely!”

Poe clapped him on the shoulder. “Go on, then. I’m sure you’ve got work to do.”

“Yes, sir, thank you, sir, Commander Dameron, sir.” Cal saluted him and ran off.

Poe raised an eyebrow at Snap. “Snap?”

Snap shook his head. “Someone’s telling jokes in poor taste, that’s all. You might wanna… keep an ear out. Might’ve been referencing you.”

“Me?”

“Best not repeated, believe me. I’ll snuff it out, Poe.”

“Thanks,” Poe said, more curious than concerned.

He didn’t like to give purchase to anything mean-spirited but he did wonder what had been said about him. Snap had been genuinely offended on Poe’s behalf.

He tried to think of anything he might have done recently to earn someone’s ill will. As far as he could remember, it had all been business as usual. Some new recruits had been trickling in but that wasn’t particularly noteworthy. Their ranks had been swelling regularly since Starkiller, since the destruction of the Hosnian system. In a display of power the First Order had only created another Alderaan. Now the galaxy finally agreed with Leia; the First Order was a genuine threat.

They’d held a party on base a couple of weeks ago, sort of a welcoming thing. Poe had made himself available for most of it, thinking it was a good opportunity to get to know people and for them to see him outside his rank.

Nothing much had happened, though, at least nothing unusual. He hadn’t been drinking. He’d danced a little. A couple of people had tried to come onto him and Poe had let them down gently. Best not to get involved with people in his command.

That was about it.

So Poe just… went on with his business. He had too much to do to worry about whether or not he had accidentally offended someone when he didn’t even know if he had or who the offended party might be. He paid attention, as Snap had suggested, but nothing seemed that out of the ordinary. Some looks and giggles sometimes, but there wasn’t anything all that strange about that.

It wasn’t until a scuffle with the First Order in the stars near Mon Cala that Poe pegged something as genuinely odd and worth his attention. He’d just wheeled up and around, whooping as he blasted the last TIE out of the sky, a little bit breathless, a lot exhilarated.

“Nice one, Commander,” Jess called over comms. “Didn’t even see him.”

Before Poe could say anything, another voice came in. Kyp Vosh, one of the newer pilots. Human, mid-twenties. “Unnecessary, don’t you think? The commander’s an even bigger show-off than I thought.”

BB-8 was bleeping in protest but Poe brushed off the comment. The skirmish had ended well but it had been tight for a while; not everyone reacted to stress and fear the same. Vosh was new to this. “Flying’s supposed to be fun, right? No reason we can’t enjoy ourselves while we shoot down a few TIEs.”

“Your flashy flying’s liable to get someone killed, and I’d rather it not be me.”

Multiple voices rang out at once but Karé’s was the loudest. “Poe’s saved all our lives, more than once. Talk to me when you’ve done the same.”

“All right, guys, no fighting over the comms, okay?” Poe cut in before this got too messy. “Everyone report in.”

Most of the voices were on a scale from begrudging to angry but everyone checked in. “All right, punch it.”

It wasn’t until they were back on base that it occurred to Poe who Vosh was. He was kneeling down, having a word with BB, when Vosh stopped behind him, looming.

“I guess what they say about you is true, hotshot,” he said.

Poe looked up, focusing on him. “What?”

Vosh’s mouth was set in a smirk. “You live fast.”

It wasn’t a compliment, Poe knew, and it wasn’t quite what Vosh meant. Poe could guess exactly what Vosh was inferring. “I’m just trying to win a war, that’s all,” he said, feeling weirdly uncomfortable crouched on the floor of the hangar while Vosh stood there.

“And have a little fun,” Vosh said, his emphasis on the last word.

As he left, BB-8 whistled something extremely rude.

“Shush, Beebee,” Poe said, and that was when he remembered. Kyp Vosh had been one of the ones at the party who’d shown interest in seeing Poe… well, not in his flight suit.

Poe filed that away.

-

It got worse after that. Poe started hearing the things people were saying, the things Snap had suggested were being said. He understood now why Snap hadn’t even wanted to tell him.

He wondered if he should be impressed by his mythical sex life, though mostly he got the impression that it was all meant to be insulting. A couple of choice, unkind words got tossed around a lot.

He caught Karé reprimanding one of the new mechanics once, her cheeks in a high flush, outraged on Poe’s behalf. That was maybe what really got to Poe, seeing her like that. Karé was always the first person to mock him with a joke, to tease, and for her to be this upset meant that it was genuinely nasty.

Poe cut in, like he had with Snap, and sent the mechanic on his way. He slung his arm around Karé’s shoulders and led her off, saying, “Nice to know you care,” mostly teasing, but meaning it, too.

Her scowl lightened a little. “Only one who gets to make fun of you is me.”

In the evening they shared a bottle of terrible moonshine that Poe was sure was going straight to his liver, courtesy of L’ulo. Iolo, Jess, and Snap joined them and it was the most relaxed Poe had felt in weeks. No one mentioned the gossip or the mean jokes at all, not even once.

When the bottle was empty and the others had dispersed, Poe remained next to Karé on her bed, leaning into her, cheerfully tipsy. “Sometimes I wonder what I’d do without you,” he said to her.

“I wonder that all the time. Pretty sure you’d have gotten yourself murdered by now, or otherwise killed in an extremely embarrassing way.”

“Mmm, probably,” Poe agreed. He pushed at her so he could lie down, then simply dragged her with him.

Karé protested only half-heartedly, lying snugly against him. “Your bed’s not acceptable?”

“Too far.”

Poe closed his eyes, content to sleep right there with her. After a few minutes, though, something gnawed at him and he said, “Karé. Maybe I shouldn’t. You know. You know what they’re saying. Don’t want them to mix you up in it, too.”

Karé leaned up on her elbow, hair falling into her eyes. “You think I care what anyone says about me? Let them. See what happens.”

He wasn’t sure if it was the booze or what but Poe felt this burning sensation behind his eyes and had to blink to clear it away. When Karé reclined again, Poe trailed his fingertips down her arm and said, “Sometimes I think you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Only sometimes? Still an idiot then, Dameron.”

Poe slept warm and content, easier than he had in some time.

-

In the morning, he went back to the room he shared with Finn to find Finn and Rey waiting there. Poe rubbed his hand over his face and said, “Uh, did I do something? Because you guys look--”

“Do you think that was smart?” Rey interrupted.

“Um. You know, it’s early and I was drinking last night. Please explain slowly and clearly.”

“ _We_ know where you were last night, and so will everyone else,” Finn said. “It’s a small base, Poe. Everyone talks. Even the droids.”

“I was just sleeping,” Poe muttered, rummaging through a drawer of clothing for the sake of having something to do.

“We know that, and even if you… weren’t, it doesn’t matter to us. We know who you are, and the sort of person you are. But…”

When Finn trailed off, plainly consumed with anxiety, Poe gave up trying to pretend he was doing anything but listening and faced them both again.

“We’ve… heard some things,” Rey said carefully, chewing at her lip. “Some things being said. About you.”

“You believe it?”

“Of course not, it’s a load of druk!”

“But others do,” Finn added, his eyes so sad.

“I don’t care what anyone says about me,” Poe said, though he wasn’t sure that was completely true.

He tried not to care. He told himself he didn’t. Surely that counted for something.

But he would care very much if rumors spread about Karé because of him, regardless of what she’d had to say on the matter.

“We’re just worried, that’s all,” Finn said, touching Poe’s shoulder.

Poe smiled at them both. “Well, you don’t have to be. I’m fine.”

If he wasn’t, Poe had always been good at pretending.

-

The next major incident occurred while Poe was running a meeting with the pilots on base. There was some obvious chatter in the back of the room and Poe couldn’t say he was terribly surprised to see that Kyp Vosh was in the middle of it. He murmured something too low to reach Poe’s ears.

A few laughed, the rest looked appalled.

A muscle twitched in Poe’s jaw. This was ridiculous. It was fit for the schoolroom, not a military base. “Anything you’d like to share with the room?”

Most were shame-faced, either guiltily avoiding Poe’s eyes or, in the case of the ones who knew him better, pursing their lips in commiseration.

Kyp Vosh, however, returned Poe’s gaze without reservation, lips tilting smugly. “No, Commander. I’ve heard you’re the one who’s good at sharing. Very… giving.”

Poe felt his ears flush. Karé looked ready to throw herself at Vosh and no one else seemed inclined to stop her. 

She glanced to Poe, who gave a minute shake of his head. She settled back in her chair with a huff, though the look of murder on her face remained.

“In the spirit of sharing, then,” Poe said, “I have a project I’d like to share with you. See me when we’re done.”

“Love to,” Vosh said, tone dripping innuendo that Poe ignored.

He hoped Vosh would enjoy cleaning the hangar bay floor on his hands and knees.

-

Afterwards, Snap pulled Poe aside and said, “You think it’s Vosh?”

Poe shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. If he didn’t start it he’s at least keeping it going, and he clearly doesn’t like me much.”

“He’s a pile of smoking bantha shit,” Karé burst in, Iolo and Jess at either side.

Jess snorted in laughter and Iolo was inclining his head in agreement. He added what Poe knew was an extremely dirty curse word in Keshian.

“Okay, I appreciate the support, but let’s not get bogged down in infighting, huh?” Poe said. “I’m handling it.”

“You’re too easy on him,” Jess said.

“You’ve never cleaned the hangar bay floor by hand.”

“It might just make him angrier,” Snap said. “Guy’s already got a grudge.”

“Maybe you can see if my way works first before making judgments?” Poe suggested.

“Whatever, Poe,” Iolo said, clapping Poe on the back. “You want a drink? I’ve got something new.”

“Yeah, I’ll take you up on that later, okay? Think I’ll take a quick flight.”

Karé was watching him suspiciously, like she realized what he was doing. Playing it off like he didn’t care.

He did care, maybe, a little. He knew he couldn’t be everyone’s friend. In the end, he was responsible for their lives.

But he had always tried to earn the respect of those who served under him. It didn’t feel great knowing how completely he had failed in this case.

“Make sure you take Beebee,” Karé said after a moment. “Don’t do anything too stupid.”

Poe smiled at her. “Do I ever?”

“You do not want that answer,” she said with an answering grin.

So Poe went flying, which was generally his response when he was feeling down or stressed or any sort of emotion, really. BB-8 clearly knew he was upset but he eventually settled when Poe said he just wanted to think a little.

He didn’t actually want to think – the point of going up in his ship was that he didn’t have to. Everything always seemed clearer and easier in the air.

But after he’d flown a few large loops in atmosphere and done a few tricks to get his heart pumping, he couldn’t help but let his mind fall back on his current conundrum.

It was strange. If Vosh was the one spreading the rumors, he knew better than most that they patently weren’t true. Poe could have easily spent the night with him, but he hadn’t. He didn’t do that. It was messy. Even without trying to keep command structure in place, it wasn’t really what Poe was into, the casual thing.

In actual fact Poe hadn’t slept with a single person on this base, in the non-platonic sense of the phrase.

(Okay, not a single person except Karé, but that was only the once and it was years ago, when they were with the NRDF, and they had both been drunk so Poe didn’t think it should count.) 

Once he started thinking about it all it was harder to ignore the fact that it actually hurt. 

Maybe it was silly. He shouldn’t let it bother him. As long as everyone followed Poe’s orders, it didn’t matter whether they liked him or not, what they were saying behind his back, what lies were getting spread as fact.

But Poe thought of Kyp Vosh’s face, his insolent tone, and wasn’t sure if he could be counted on to always do as he was told. Not if it was Poe giving out the commands.

He wondered if it might not be best to bring the whole matter to Leia’s attention. She had a right to know what was going on in her own base and she would surely handle it. 

And yet, Poe didn’t want her to have to handle it. He should be able to control the people in his own command. Leia had more than enough to be concerned with without fighting amongst the pilots.

Poe could deal with it himself. It wouldn’t be the first time. Perhaps he had never faced anything of quite this nature, but he had taken care of problems. He would take care of this one, too. He would mention it to Leia after it was settled.

-

Poe knew that several of his pilots had a problem with Vosh, obviously. What he hadn’t been expecting was the level of ire Rey and Finn had for him, too.

“He’s a nerf herder!” Rey exclaimed. She was pacing back and forth in Poe’s quarters, venting. Apparently Vosh had stepped ahead of her in line in the mess or something and it had triggered a cascade of irritation and rage.

It had been going on for a while. Poe shifted on the bed, wondering how much longer it would take for her to talk herself out.

Finn, perched backwards in his chair, seemed to be enjoying it, actually. He was watching Rey like she was a particularly entertaining holofilm.

Poe could sort of get it. Rey was quite… animated when she was angry.

“It’s fine that you don’t like him,” Poe said, interrupting her flow. “But I’m not sure this is accomplishing anything. He’s on our side. That’s important to remember.”

“On our side?” Rey repeated, glaring at him. “Have you heard what he says about you?”

“I know he isn’t… fond of me.” Poe winced internally. He didn’t need to see Rey’s eye roll to know how stupid that sounded. It was only… Well, Poe knew what Vosh said about him. He just preferred not to think about it because he didn’t like the way it made him feel.

“Isn’t fond of you?” Rey said. “Kriff, Poe.”

“He doesn’t have to like me. He only has to follow my orders.” 

“And you think he always will? You trust him?”

Poe hesitated. Less far than he could throw him, to be honest. “He’s a good pilot--”

Rey made a disgusted snorting noise and turned her back to Poe.

“You’re too nice for your own good sometimes,” Finn said. “I’m with Rey. He’s a nerf herder.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Poe insisted. “He’s one of us. I can’t go around playing favorites.”

“This isn’t anything to do with playing favorites. This is treating someone like the asshole they are. I know I wouldn’t trust him to have my back in a tight spot. I don’t want him with me in a firefight, that’s for sure.”

When Poe actually thought about it, he wasn’t sure he wanted that, either. He wasn’t sure he would ever want to know that the only person he had to rely on to keep Finn, or Rey, or any of his pilots, safe, was Kyp Vosh.

That was the moment he realized he had a real problem on his hands.

-

He was going to bring it to Leia. Poe didn’t think he had any other choice. He didn’t want to, but he was fairly certain he had to.

It wasn’t a matter of a grudge anymore, or private discipline. Poe realized that it had gotten to the point where Vosh was disrupting his squadrons and had fostered a genuine break in the ranks, a fundamental trust issue.

Poe couldn’t have people on his team that he didn’t trust. Vosh _was_ a good pilot.

But Poe didn’t think that was enough anymore.

Poe was wrapped up in his thoughts when he came closer to a bend in the corridor and heard familiar voices. Familiar raised, irritated voices.

Rey. Finn.

Vosh.

Poe slowed, wanting to see if he could get a handle on what was going on before he intervened. He didn’t want to cause a bigger mess by jumping in before he knew the situation.

Rey was saying, “What I can’t figure out is if you want to be him or if you really just want him to blow you.”

_ Oh, no.  _ “Not good,” Poe muttered to himself. “So not good.”

Then Vosh responded, “You’re just sore he’ll fuck the whole base but he’s never shown any interest in fucking _you._ ”

When the next sound Poe heard was the thunk of a fist against someone’s face, Poe really wasn’t surprised.

He truly wasn’t.

He ran around the corner, seeing Vosh on the ground, blood streaming from his nose, and grabbed Rey as she flailed against him.

“Let me go!” she said furiously, her small, thin body twisting in Poe’s arms as she fought him.

Finn just stood there, absolutely no help, glaring at the man on the floor. He looked like he was seconds away from stamping on the guy’s fingers or something.

“Let it go,” Poe said, using his most calming, soothing tone, the one he used to use on Yavin 4 when he was trying to tempt feral tooka into being his pets. It hadn’t worked then; he wasn’t sure why he thought it would work with Rey. “It’s not worth it. He’s not worth it.”

“Did you hear what he said? He kriffing deserves it!” Rey burst into a stream of curses that Poe couldn’t translate, though the gist was perfectly plain.

“I heard enough.”

“You fight for everyone but yourself,” Rey said, finally stilling her frantic movement. “You think we don’t notice what you do for us? How you’ve always been in Finn’s corner, from the start, defending him when people here looked sideways at the ex-stormtrooper?”

“So if you won’t do it for yourself,” Finn said, dragging his gaze away from the asshole on the floor, “we’re gonna do it for you.”

Poe swallowed thickly against the sudden lump in his throat. He didn’t know how this had happened, how these two fierce, fierce orphans had claimed him as their own, but he was massively, ridiculously grateful.

Vosh dragged himself to his knees, then back on his feet. He was trying to staunch the flow of blood from his nose with his sleeve.

“You okay?” Poe asked, keeping his tone level and neutral.

“Am I okay? Your girl here hits me in the face unprovoked and you ask if I’m okay? Some team you run here, Dameron, you--”

“Unprovoked?” Finn repeated. “Are you a kriffing idiot?”

Rey was seething again and Poe kept his hand around her upper arm to prevent further violence. “She’s her own person,” Poe said. “I don’t keep her from doing anything, just like I don’t keep you from running your mouth off. But I do require respect, loyalty, and teamwork from everyone who flies for me, which is why I’m going to be speaking to General Organa. I can’t have infighting and trouble-making. This is a war and I won’t accept this childish druk from anyone.”

He squeezed Rey’s arm so she would know he meant her, too. Regardless of how touched he was, she couldn’t go around hitting people on their side, no matter how warranted it might have been.

Vosh was nearly spitting in anger. “You’re going to be speaking to her? Are you crazy? This girl just assaulted me! If you think I won’t report this to General Organa, you’re all crazy.”

“Go on, tell her,” Rey said, a glint in her eyes like she was daring him. “Tell her and see what she says when she hears what you’ve been saying about her favorite pilot.”

For a moment Poe thought this was going to go even worse than it already had been, but then Vosh seemed to cave. He shook his head. “You guys are all crazy,” he said, and pushed past Finn, knocking roughly into his shoulder, to leave them behind.

“And you’re a kriffing sleemo!” Rey shouted after him, followed up by Finn hurling a Huttese curse that didn’t bear repeating.

“He’s going to desert,” Poe said, knowing it was true. “He’s going to catch the first ride off this planet he can. I’ll have to tell the general. I don’t think he’d go to the First Order but he knows too much to risk it. We’ll have to move.”

“Good riddance,” Rey muttered, Finn nodding emphatically.

Poe looked at them and wondered how he had gotten so lucky, to have people like them at his back. “You shouldn’t have hit him,” he said to Rey, “but thank you.”

Her sweet smile finally made an appearance. “Going to reprimand me, Commander?”

“I should. I meant it, when I said we can’t have infighting like that. But under the circumstances, I think I’ll let you off with a warning.”

Her smile grew and she hugged Poe, briefly but tightly. “I couldn’t stand it anymore, letting him get away with saying those things about you.”

Poe couldn’t do anything but return her smile when she pulled back, brushing his thumb over her chin for a second. She wrinkled her nose in mock annoyance.

“He won’t be missed,” Finn said, slinging his arm around Poe’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s find your pilots, spread the good news. They’ll probably throw a party.”

It wasn’t only Vosh who was the problem, Poe knew. He might have been the worst of it but gossip and rumor died if only one person repeated it. This had spread like fungus and Vosh’s absence didn’t mean it wouldn’t keep spreading.

But that was a problem for later. He’d bring it up with Leia.

“Yeah,” Poe agreed, “and Karé will kiss Rey for hitting him and ask for an exact recounting of events, second by second.”

Maybe it was naïve to think everyone would like him, Poe knew, but he could rest satisfied in the knowledge of the affection of everyone who mattered.

**_ End _ **

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr [here](http://serceleste.tumblr.com). :)


End file.
